Free
by Shantih33
Summary: Elizabeth is depressed and contemplating suicide when Annamaria comes to Fort Royal and persuades her to reunite with Jack on board the Black Pearl.


Free

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to PotC.

Elizabeth woke up. It was an overcast day, and exactly the 5-year anniversary of her marriage to Will. She rose from her bed and slipped on a beautiful, bejeweled gown, embroidered with sapphires, befitting for a governor's daughter. She loved Will, but she tried not to think about their wedding day. They had been married only an hour after Jack Sparrow, the dashing pirate, had leaped over the cliff and swum back to his own ship. She sighed, and began to brush her chestnut hair in her mirror. Looking back at herself, she felt empty, nothing more than a reflection. She loved Will, though—she would always love him.

Even if he didn't love her. Will had long ago ceased to speak to her, unless under necessity. She remembered with pain when they were newlyweds, the long hours each morning they would spend just talking, before either one got up. She thought again of how he had been yesterday. She was certain he had forgotten their anniversary. "Oh well," she thought, "He is, after all, only a man." Life would be a lot nicer if men could be more like women, but she knew such thoughts were forbidden.

Elizabeth stepped out of her mansion that overlooked the sea. The sea was calm tonight, a portentous mélange of blue, green and gray. It was March—and cold for Fort Royal. There, it never came below seventy degrees. However, she shivered for no particular reason. She chose to walk into town rather than be driven. Lately, she had come to hate her penned-up existence, and she knew that Will no longer loved her. She stopped walking. She shut her eyes tightly, against the pain in her heart. Will wouldn't speak to anybody at all these days. He never went to his smithy anymore, and had taken to haunting the worser parts of town. She knew deep in her heart, that he probably had had affairs, but she told herself it wasn't true, and for the moment that held her. She felt herself withering away inside. Soon she would be nothing but a dry palm frond, in a dry household with a bone-dry husband.

She looked toward the sea. Would Will be happier without her? He would have her fortune and be able to remarry, if he so wished. As she thought about ending her life, she felt weaker than ever. "I am a weak woman! No wonder he doesn't want me—I cannot even bring myself to end all my suffering!" She blamed herself for being undesirable—why was she alone in her grief, and those harlots down in the brothels weren't? They were strong, they didn't need any one man, and for a moment Elizabeth longed for their free existence. No, she reflected, they were not free entirely, for even if they were not dependant upon men, they were dependant upon their money. She, at least, was monetarily self-sufficient.

Elizabeth began to walk towards town again. She looked to the ground, feeling miserable, until she heard something and looked up.

"Pssst!"

Elizabeth glanced around wildly. Who would be looking for her?

"Look over here!"

Near the side of a building crouched a familiar figure.

"Annamaria? Is it you?"

Jack Sparrow's steerswoman stood up, and glanced about fearfully.

"Elizabeth, I must speak with you. Is there someplace we can talk without being disturbed?" Elizabeth looked around, and saw no soul for half a mile, but she nodded and went to Annamaria. The steerswoman looked worried, concern wrinkling her beautiful features.

"If you must speak with me, there is an inn by the wayside of town which is always crowded with the wrong sort. We may talk there, without fear of being heard."

"Thankee, Elizabeth. I do not know Fort Royal well."

Elizabeth wondered at her own willingness to go to a pub…a brothel really. She was exited about what Annamaria had to say, and any excitement made her daring. They walked to the inn. Elizabeth remembered fondly the time when she had donned men's clothing in order to rescue Will. She was sure he would not have remembered.

They were there. Elizabeth and Annamaria walked inside the dingy pub, one with more ease than the other.

"I'll have a warm rum," said Annamaria.

"I'd like…a small sherry, please," said Elizabeth. Annamaria looked at her in wonderment, her brown eyes bemused. "Missie, it's a wonder you survived being kidnapped by Barbarossa. That's all I'll say." Elizabeth sighed at the reproach. Annamaria put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's not an insult! Yer just more…_feminine_ than the likes of me are used to. I daresay that's what Jack likes about you."

Elizabeth sat bolt straight. She had often suspected that Jack Sparrow had borne affection for her, but to hear the sentiment from the lips of one of his crewmates made the suspicion a reality. "What? He…" Elizabeth couldn't do more than stammer.

"Oh, don't play the innocent, missie. You know what he felt for you. Now, I want to tell you something." Elizabeth nodded mutely. To know, as a reality, that someone had borne affection for her other than Will (whose amorousness had been but fleeting) was a shock to her desolate self-loathing.

"Elizabeth, missie, I need to tell you something. Jack's still out there roaming, as he has been for five years since you saw him last. You should know…he's been thinking of you. As I know you have been of him."

Elizabeth stared. It was one thing for Annamaria to know Jack had been thinking of her…but how could she know that she thought of him too? Indeed, she tried to banish the thoughts, but the more Will pushed her away, the more she thought of Jack. She tried not to, but can one ever control emotion?

"So…" Elizabeth asked tremulously, "so, Jack sent you here? For…for what?" She knew the pirate was not always honorable, and she hated to think of the errand he had sent his steerswoman on.

"Ah..." Annamaria winced. "He didn't…exactly…_send_ me here, I sort of came on my own. Don't think of Jack like that," she hurriedly assured Elizabeth. "He's not the sort that would demand to bed you, you being a married woman and all." Elizabeth was shocked at her straightforwardness. It was refreshing, though—her aristocratic crowd talked about the same things, only in code. Unsure, she smiled at Annamaria.

The drinks came. Annamaria took a large gulp of her rum, while Elizabeth sipped at her sherry in a state of mild shock. "So, what am I here for, you're wondering," said Annamaria. "I want to know if you're happy. Here in Fort Royal, married to Will. Are you, then?"

Elizabeth hesitated. She had been pretending for so long, but now that she thought of it, why hide her pain from Annamaria? She spilled out her story to the pirate girl's sympathetic ear. Annemaria nodded, and put a hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. Elizabeth felt too overcome for words. She had felt alone for nigh on five years, and the minute some kindness was shown, she broke down. Nobody in the crowded pub noticed save Annamaria—a crying woman was not an uncommon sight.

When Elizabeth finally stopped sobbing, Annamaria smiled comfortingly at her. "I wanted to know if you were happy, because Jack and his ship are moored not far away." Elizabeth gaped. "Jack doesn't know I'm here, nor would he want me to be. As I said, he dreams about you—I've heard him say your name in his sleep—but he thinks you and Will love each other, and he would never dream of stealing you from him unwillingly." Elizabeth was too overcome. All she could think to say was, "But don't you love him?" Elizabeth knew there was a certain closeness between Jack and Annamaria, but she didn't know if it was a friendly one or a romantic. Annamaria sighed. "No. Just because I'm the only woman on a ship with Jack Sparrow does not mean I have to love him. Let's just say…I'm not the marrying sort." Elizabeth understood, and she felt guilty for having pried. These people—"the non-marrying sort"—were few, and often misunderstood. There were many myths concerning them and their doings. Elizabeth, unlike most people of her rank and age, did not bear them any prejudice. There was nothing wrong with being different.

"So…if…if I do not love Will," said Elizabeth, "then, I…could come with you?" "Yes—if that is what you desire. I am only here because I know you mean the world to Jack. If you come with me, you could be his pirate lass. You could go sailing the world with him." Annamaria smiled. "You would like that, wouldn't you?" Elizabeth's eyes opened wide to her possibilities. "You're sure he wants me?" "Absolutely," Annamaria assured her.

Elizabeth couldn't decide. Of course, she could leave with Annamaria right now—but then, she couldn't leave Will like that. Again, why did she stay with Will if he did not love her? Because he still might. Oh, she was so confused!

Annamaria sensed her distress. "Tell you what—it's your five-year anniversary with Will." Elizabeth nodded. "Buy him a present. Go home, and give it to him. If he shows that he loves you, stay on with him. You may not have another chance to be with Jack, but if you and Will still love each other, I…wish you much happiness."

"On the other hand, if he doesn't show any love for you, take all your money, your clothes, and some possessions, and meet me back here. I'll wait for you until midnight, and we'll go together to Jack's ship."

It was a good plan. Elizabeth felt strengthened by Annamaria's assertion and agreed to the plan. She drained off her sherry, and walked out of the inn slightly dizzy, from the sherry and from the decision. She waved goodbye to Annamaria, and started off down the street to shop for a present for Will. She sat down on a bench almost immediately. She felt as if she would faint. After having learned that Jack still loved her, she felt the reciprocal affection rise in her own breast. It was as if, after having taken a long hard look at her relationship with Will, all the love she had been pretending for him went instead to Jack—a man that had remained more constant than Will, even though he was not married to her and had indeed not even seen her for close on five years. She remembered being marooned on a desert island with him, and how they had both gotten drunk. It was the last time she had drunk rum, and the last time she had been alone with Jack. She felt longing rise afresh.

All of a sudden a thought came that burst her elation like a bubble. What if Annamaria was not telling the truth? What if Jack had forgotten all about her? What if…Elizabeth grew panicked. But…why, after all, would Annamaria lie? It wasn't in her own interest that Elizabeth leave Will—the only possible motive for bringing Elizabeth and Jack together would be friendliness toward the two and a desire to see them happy. She felt comforted and moved on down the street.

Toward the end of the day, Elizabeth had picked out a beautiful gift. It was a watch, fob and chain, meticulously crafted out of gold, with pearl hands and perfect timing. It had cost nigh four hundred pounds, and she hoped he would like it. She carried it home safely, her heart pounding in her breast. It was well after dusk—she had been out shopping for too long, and it was around 10:00 at night. After about half an hour, she came to her mansion, and opened the door with a small key she always carried on her person. Silently, she entered the house. She put the watch on the coffee-table and tiptoed up to her own room. She didn't know where Will was; later she would find him and surprise him with the watch. She bathed and put on some rose-scented perfume, donned a new, lovely dress of green satin with a flowing skirt and a low neckline, to accentuate her chestnut hair. She powdered herself and put on makeup, to draw attention to her eyes. Finally, she put up her hair loosely, letting some curls fall down over her forehead and neck. She examined herself in the mirror, and discovered that she looked better than she had for a long time. It occurred to her that possibly this was the result of her anticipation, and she felt guilty, for she realized that she was dressing up for Jack.

She tiptoed out of her chamber. She had heard Will coming up the steps while dressing, and figured he must have gone into his own room. Wistfully, she thought, "Wouldn't it be nice if he were dressing up for me?" Silently, she went to his slightly ajar door and peeked in.

Half an hour later, she was all packed and ready to go. She had brought only two dresses, a necklace, all her money, and makeup. Spitefully, she went downstairs and wrote a hasty note to Will:

"Dear Will, I am leaving you. You can probably figure out why. I'm not telling you where I'm going or who I'm with. It's over—I'm tired of pretending you love me, as I'm sure you are too. You can have the house and everything in it—may you choke on it! Happy Anniversary, Elizabeth."

She was so proud of herself. Finally she had found her courage. She no longer felt like a weak woman—she felt strong and capable. Elizabeth went out the front door, closing it firmly, and walked to the town wayside, to the inn where Annamaria was waiting.

"So," said Annamaria, "you came." She smiled. "You look nice. What happened?" Elizabeth sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it." Annamaria shrugged. "That's fine with me." Elizabeth suddenly wanted to tell Annamaria everything. "I…found him in his bedroom with another woman. He didn't look up—he didn't see me, though." "Ah." Annamaria nodded sagely. "That was decisive. As if fate had it in for you, that you should come with me." Elizabeth considered the prospect. It wasn't so strange after all. Annamaria grinned encouragingly. "Let's go!" Elizabeth felt something in her that hadn't been there before—something feminine that wasn't stuffed into a corset or bound by law. Elizabeth smiled back, and the two women stole into the night.

On the outskirts of Fort Royal, Elizabeth and Annamaria ran laughing along the shore. Already the lights of Fort Royal were dim, and a whole new world was opening up in front of Elizabeth's eyes. She felt like she could run forever and never grow tired. Annamaria looked over to Elizabeth's joyful face and grinned. "You're finally learning what it is to be a woman! Isn't it great?" Elizabeth nodded. Even though Annamaria always dressed up in men's clothes, she was, in a way, a more real woman than all of Elizabeth's friends, tied up in corsets and bonnets and waving their fans.

"Is that the ship?" cried Elizabeth. "Over there—with all the lights and people?" "Yes, of course," said Annamaria, with the moonlight gleaming off her mocha skin. "They're going to leave early this morning." Elizabeth reflected that after they left, she would never see Will again. Why didn't she feel more guilty? After all, she had been brought up to think women should never run away with a man that wasn't their husband, or leave their spouse, or do any of the things she was now doing.

The air was heavy with the scent of perfumed flowers. The ship, the Black Pearl, was laden with noise and music and light and warmth. Gypsies played their accordions on the ship, and pirates sat on the high mast, taking mock swipes at each other with their swords. Suddenly Elizabeth felt shy again. She was actually going to see the man she had always loved, denied or no, and whom she hadn't seen for 5 years. Would he be different? Would she? "Annamaria, do I look changed from 5 years ago? Will Jack notice I am older?" Annamaria looked Elizabeth over. "I think I see some gray hairs—just there!" Elizabeth gasped. "Oh no! Where? Where?" Annamaria laughed uproariously. "I'm joking, there's not a speck of gray on your entire head! Don't be so worried—you haven't aged in 5 years!" Elizabeth laughed too. How thankful she was for Annamaria! She felt relaxed and happy just by being around her. They drew nearer to the Black Pearl. Suddenly a voice called out:

"Annamaria! Our beloved steerswoman! Where ha' you been, me love?"

The voice belonged to an obviously drunk pirate—he was big and tall, with a week's beard and a heavy Scottish accent. Annamaria scoffed.

"Get sober before talking to me, Douglas! Go sleep it off!"

"Oh, well, that's the way you want to be, fine, you cold bitch! Don't expect any rum from me in the future!" Douglas and Annamaria guffawed together. Elizabeth momentarily joined in. Douglas looked up when he heard her voice. "Bli-mey! Who's this lovely young lass ye've brought wi' you?" "She's none of your business, Douglas, so leave her alone," said Annamaria smoothly. "If you lay hands on her, you know what will follow." Obviously she was not joking. Doulas sighed. "Awright, me love, but I sure am curious." "Go back to wherever you came from, you drunken slob!" Annamaria called after him. This seemed to lighten the mood, and he went away chuckling. Annamaria turned to Elizabeth. "Never mind him, missie, he don't know which way's up!" Elizabeth smiled timidly. She was feeling rather off-center and vulnerable—she knew she had made the right decision in leaving Will and following Annamaria to the Black Pearl, but still…

"Elizabeth?" Annamaria was waving a hand in front of Elizabeth's face. "Are you still awake?" Elizabeth immediately straightened up and smiled. "I'm sorry—it's been a long day for me. I feel I could go to sleep right now." She was too late to stifle a huge yawn. Annamaria burst out in laughter. "Maybe we should get you to bed now, eh? See Jack a little later?" Elizabeth, although she wanted—needed—to meet Jack again, was relieved at the suggestion. "Thank you—I need the sleep." "You'll see Jack tomorrow," Annamaria assured her. "And you'll be that much lovelier after yer beauty sleep!"

Annamaria escorted Elizabeth to her own room on board the ship. The ship was so much bigger and more beautiful than Elizabeth had remembered it—the Black Pearl was mystery, adventure, romance, life…she breathed it in, filling her lungs with the musty, perfumed air of the timbers that had gone on so many voyages. The scents of rum, of opium and musk, vanilla, gunpowder, seawater and cinnamon mingled in the air. Inside the ship was dimly lit with candles and lamps, yet filled with life. Voices conversed, chattered, yelled, and the sound of water sloshing against the side of the ship. So, thought Elizabeth, this is what I've been missing. Locked up in her old life, in her childhood home with her unloving husband, she had never fully grown. Never experienced what she ought, never spread her wings to the world. Now I can, thought Elizabeth, as she climbed into Annamaria's hammock. I can travel the world if I want, were her thoughts as she dreamily drifted off, rocked into heavy slumber by the rhythmic rocking of the ship.

She was back in her own house, in the mansion in Fort Royal. She was awakening in bed, Will at her side. Suddenly, she realized that she had somehow missed her appointment with Annamaria. She panicked and flung off the bedcovers, eliciting a grumpy moan from Will. She threw on a gown and rushed from the house, only to see the Black Pearl sailing away, far off on the horizon. After a minute, it disappeared altogether. Elizabeth was stuck in the doorway—she could not go out, she could not return. She was paralyzed—she felt age wither her and turn her to stone. Suddenly, a mist fell over the island, and Jack Sparrow emerged. He gave her one haughty glance, and continued on his way to the waterside. Elizabeth tried to call out, but her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth. She saw him row away, and everything faded…

Elizabeth woke up, gasping, in Annamaria's hammock on board the Black Pearl. Voices were still active, and she realized she had only been dreaming. Her heart was pounding. She lay back in the hammock, breathing deeply. It was a good thing she had come with Annamaria to join the pirates. Imprisoned in Fort Royal, she would have withered away and died inside—she would rather the dangerous adventure of the pirates to the safe, lethal ennui that had been slowly infiltrating her heart and mind. All thought of Will was now gone—Elizabeth wondered that she had married him in the first place. More as if blind fate had brought them together…and Will, she now realized, had only been after her fortune from the start. Elizabeth felt as if a blind had been removed from her eyes—she now realized, furthermore, that whenever she thought of the love she bore for Will, she meant, deep in her soul, the love she still bore for Jack. Now she knew that she needed him beyond anything else—Will's 'steadfastness' had proved to be nothing, and now she knew herself. She knew she was not, at heart, a corseted prude, not wholly a product of her upbringing. Something in nature had carried through in her, and she needed someone more like to her to be with. When I was with Jack on that island, when we were drinking rum and dancing around the bonfire, thought Elizabeth, that was when I was truly myself. I have never been as comfortable in my body as then. And Jack himself…she had never felt such longing for anyone else. Something in their twin souls rang true—they were meant for each other. Jack was wrong when he was whispered in her ear at their last parting, "We weren't meant to be." Jack thought she loved Will, when now she realized it was Jack she had loved all along. She felt like singing out her soul—she knew Elizabeth, Elizabeth knew her. Now I can be real, she thought. How could I have been so stupid, she asked herself, reclining in the hammock. I was a foolhardy girl up to this point—now I am a woman.

Elizabeth woke a second time to Annamaria's gentle nudging. "Come, wake up, Lizzie," she was saying. "Wake up, it's morning." Elizabeth, half asleep, grinned. "So that's my new name, is it? Lizzie?" "Oh, for sure," smiled Annamaria. "Lizzie of the pirates. Sounds one hell of a lot better than 'Elizabeth of the pirates', now don't it?" They laughed together. "What time is it, Annamaria?" Elizabeth yawned hugely. It looked to be about 3:00 in the morning if not earlier. "It's 5:00 in the morning," said Annamaria, "and Jack's not up yet. Why don't you go up to his chamber, and wait there until he wakes up?" Elizabeth, anxious and yet not, longing, calm, was breathless with laughter. "What a nice surprise for him, when he wakes up! A girl he hasn't seen in five years, sitting on the end of his bed, staring at him! If I were him in that situation I'd jump right up into the ceiling! Where do you come up with such ideas, Annamaria?" Annamaria looked slightly guilty. "I have a weakness for bad romance novels. Occasionally I'll steal them from a rich person's house, on a raid, and I'll just memorize them!" "Ah," laughed Elizabeth, "so that's where you get them from! So, from this point on, Jack Sparrow's life will be just like a bad romance novel!" Elizabeth thought of something, and pulled out a book from her bag she'd taken with her from the mansion. "Here's one I find particularly intriguing—one of my favorites." "A bad romance novel?" Annamaria took the leather-bound book in her hands and read the title aloud. " 'The Mysteries of Udolpho'. Sounds…mysterious." "It's got a love story, horror…just about everything," said Elizabeth. "I know you'll love it." "Thanks!" Annamaria immediately began flipping through it. "Ah—I forgot. I'm making you come up to Jack's room." After Elizabeth had washed, dressed, and made herself up, she was ready to go. Giggling, they tiptoed through the labyrinth of the hungover and dozing pirate ship, and making a few inscrutable turns to avoid being seen, they came to a cabin with the word, 'Captain' scratched into the door, seemingly with a dagger. "For a captain, he don't take too much care with his rooming," Annamaria explained. She unlocked the door with a skeleton key, whispered to Elizabeth, "Tell me all about it later!" and Elizabeth went inside.

Annamaria hadn't been joking—Jack's room was a real mess. Elizabeth looked around, her heart pounding so hard she thought her ribcage might break. She couldn't even see Jack, although she could hear his regular breaths. Even though her soul was screaming out with impatience and unleashed love, she made herself sit down on a pile of clothes. Suddenly, the pile of clothes moved!

"Ah, gerroff…" The voice muttered and subsided, and the pile of dirty laundry stirred. Elizabeth's throat contracted. It was Jack! She stood up and stared down at what was presumably her true love, even though she couldn't see any distinguishing features. She took a deep breath and walked about the room, picking things up and tidying, as it was in her nature to do. After while, the room was reasonably neat, and Elizabeth took another steadying breath and lifted up the pile of clothes.

It was definitely Jack. He was just as she had remembered him—swashbuckling, handsome, his intelligent face showing no sign of age. Only his beautiful eyes were closed. Elizabeth felt desire overcome her, but she couldn't bring herself to wake him up. Instead she sat down again on the floor and looked at his beautiful face. Just then, Jack, still with closed eyes and half asleep, threw a pillow at her from the floor. It caught her in the chest, knocking her over backward. He grunted, turned over, and mumbled,

" Don' bother me mate…I'll run ye through…g'way…"

Elizabeth stifled her laughter. She decided it was better not to try and wake Jack, at least not now. She sat on the floor and simply looked at him until the sun rose.

Finally Jack woke up. He grumbled to himself, sat up and rubbed his eyes. Then he opened them and looked around the room. He saw Elizabeth. Unsure, she smiled at him, and their eyes met. He lay back down and turned over again.

"Jack? It's me…it's Elizabeth."

"I'm sure it is…I need to wake up…"

Elizabeth was confused. Didn't he want to see her? She felt like crying.

"Don't you want to see me?"

Jack turned back over and looked at her.

"You're nothing but a dream. Of course I want to see Elizabeth, but you're not Elizabeth." He sighed. "Maybe you're a dream sent by the Devil to punish me for me wicked ways."

"What do you mean, I'm a dream?"

He smiled in a stop-pretending-like-you-don't-know way. "I dream I see Elizabeth every night—every night for five years. But she always disappears when I wake up. I've stopped believing."

Tears welled up in Elizabeth's eyes. He did love her—she knew now—and how she loved him back! She wanted to comfort him, and tell him that at last she was there. But he wouldn't believe her.

"I love you, Jack." And she leaned over and kissed him, right on the mouth. She felt his surprise, and through all her tears she knew he now believed. She savored the sweetness of the moment, the moment when twin hearts realize and become united forever. She pulled away and looked into his eyes, now open wide and comprehending.

"It's really you?"

"Yes. I've finally come."

"You've left Will?" He sat up suddenly. "You are staying, aren't you?"

"Of course," she cried. "I'll stay with you forever!"

He pulled her toward him. "And I you." And then he kissed her again and again, and she wrapped herself up in the eternal moment and they rejoiced together.


End file.
